Goodbye,
I will begin this blog by saying goodbye instead of hello. Goodbyes are the most difficult things in any relationship. Mortality is set in the face of any farewell. If goodbyes could be given on our terms, in our timing, with our approval and not forced upon us as if we could not affect or control the situation in any way perhaps it would be more bearable. Saying goodbye is also not nearly as hard as living separate that person. Goodbye love, goodbye friend, goodbye time or place. Why? Why must we be faced with deaths, not just physical but moreover small deaths everyday. Goodbye to a friend for two days while they go on a trip. Goodbye to the popsicle that was exactly what you needed. Goodbye to the newness of the car you have. Goodbye to a class you actually enjoyed. Constantly, I'm faced with an understanding of how short and easily killed things can be. Devastating sometimes.
It is much worse when it is something I'd rather not live without. When it is not on my terms. When I can't do anything about it. Leaving SEU. Lost my best friend. Losing Eric. Why! Why! Goodbyes, why must you continue to creep in my life. To bring death to everything I love, loved, want to love. When will I be able to say that I actually have everything I want... need. When? Goodbyes! You defeat me, you show yourself unwanting and yet continue to conquer me.
Then, I think about Jesus asking us to die for Him, daily. What in the world? More death? When does it end? And I realize that He is not asking for us to say goodbye in the way we expect, He is instead telling us to get the goodbyes out of the way so that we no longer have to worry about the farewells anymore. When being awakened from a scary dream, we are never frustrated with being awakened, we never desire what was in the dream more. And in the same way we await a place that has no goodbyes anymore. We must die daily because we must live in a world of goodbyes as citizens who will never say goodbye. In Heaven, not a single goodbye. No farewells. Now, we must drudge through day to day inadequacies and realize that nothing lasts forever...here. But were we are going we don't need roads... I mean anything. Goodbyes, so difficult, are actually somewhat of a small thing when realized as something that is only in this world. And so, to begin this blog I intend on getting the most difficult thing in any relationship out of the way. I shall even before getting connected that much with say this... goodbye friend. When the chance avails me to be in this world of no goodbyes, I shall take it. So, until then.
Goodbye!
